how I’d like to *feel* in 2019

Around two and a half years ago, as I was turning 27, I wrote this article. It was a time when I was in pure “read + look for answers mode”. The folks over at Fizzle aptly call this procrasti-learning. It was overwhelming and all-consuming. I was very much in my head, and not at all in my body.

If there’s anything I’ve learned since then, it is to tap into feeling in order to show the way, rather than rely on science and logic and blogs and what *ought* to be true. Because the thing is, thinking about it, all that knowledge I had acquired didn’t really make me happy. In fact, it kinda made me more frustrated and confused and overwhelmed and unhappy.

In the last couple of years, as prompted by the therapists I have had and an amazing “Goals & Brunch” community I was a part of in 2018, I have been reminded to lean more into what I feel.

Whether it’s deciding whether a choice is the right one (you never know for sure, but my body/intuition is the best guide), and even when it comes to setting goals.

For example, whilst deciding on my 2019 intentions in recent days I have constantly kept reminding myself how I want to *feel*, and using that as a basis. It can help us choose what’s really, fundamentally good for us and gives us joy and general good vibes, rather than what we *think* we should be doing or reckon might make us feel good or worthy or whatever it might be.

So, how do I want to feel this year? Here’s a snapshot.

  • Confident, yet grounded.
  • Stable, yet in-flux/growing.
  • Connected to myself and my body
  • Connected to others, yet mindful of over-extending myself (#peoplepleaser)
  • Like more of an adult (aka independent & self-reliant)
  • More resilient, which I know will build my confidence and inner resources

That’s why, bearing these above feelings in mind, I was then able to set my intentions off of the back of these.

Every goal I set was with a feeling in mind. After all, is there anything in the world that’s more important than how we feel, from moment to moment?

Everything else seems rather transient, for me. My feelings are my feelings. There for a reasons. Utterly real. There regardless of expectations or thoughts or “shoulds” or “supposed to’a”.

My feelings are the closest part of me I feel I can tap into and utilise.

There’s a place for rational thought and logic, for sure, but there’s no inner compass quite like the body and it’s intuition.

I want to keep reminding myself of that. In fact, I might add that on to my 2019 intentions. And I reckon the post I write as I am turning 30 this coming June will look, and feel, very different.

by,

Jasraj

Monday, 7th January 2019 | this article first appeared on IntrovertJedi

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